I’m a Survivor

Just came out of the ordeal in the bathroom..

I had a surgery last night.. to suppress an infection..
I had a cease, developed from an insect bite. (curse that pariah)
Initially it was just a mini bubble with clear watery stuff. (i still tot it’s quite cute) Then it burst on its own, and that’s the start of it’s infection.
The opening didn’t heal, and there was frequent collection of translucent yellowish discharge. So I went to the doctor (x 1). The doctor told me that it is an infection that has developed because of an insect bite. He gave me a tube of anti-bacterial cream to apply 3 times daily.

A month later, the opening continued to be there and everything seems to be the same, except that it started to swell to the size of a 50 cents coin. My mom told me that my aunt had the same thing and she went to see this doctor. So I went to the doctor (x 2). The doctor told me that the infection is quite bad, he will have to cut the bump and remove the yellowish discharge. And so he did. It was a tiny cut. I was quite relieved thinking that it was over.

A month later, the bump didn’t subside instead another 5 cent coin joined the 50 cents sized bump. So I went to the doctor (x 3). The doctor said, “the infection is more serious than I thought, you will have to go through a mini surgery to remove the source of the discharge.” And so he did. My mom was there and she told me that the doctor cut into my flesh remove something like a string and sew the wound from bottom up. I was again relieved, thinking that it was over.

After 2 days, I begin to feel that the area beside my newly operated wound is a little swollen. So I went to the doctor (x 4). He said perhaps it is because I am allergic to the thread that he used to stitch up the wound, and that he will just make a mini cut to remove the content in the new little bump. And so he did. Relieved, was what i was feeling, thinking that IT WAS over.

You know it’s just like the horror movies, “Friday the 13th”, “Scream”, “Child’s play”.. Just as you thought that it is over, something will pop up somewhere and it all starts all over again – just like my infection. 1 week, 2 weeks, a month passed, and the stitching didn’t help to heal my wound. The opening is still there – a tiny hole with clear yellowish translucent discharge coming out from it frequently. So I went to the doctor. Where was I? oh…(x 5).

The doctor told me that the discharge is my fats and he said although there’s a bump it is probably an allergy reaction to the thread. He left it as it is and prescribed a tube of anti-bacterial cream. By then, I was already jaded. I just thought “whatever, i don’t care anymore.”

A few months passed, and the opening from the wound was still there, the cream didn’t stopped the discharge and it began to hurt a little when i press on it. I didn’t want to go back to the same doctor/butcher who cut me so many times. I began to search for help online. I didn’t know where to start, so, knowing me…  just anyhow whack.. But my searches all pointed to piles related physicians. -_-  I was on my way to calling and booking for an appointment with the piles physician when a friend of mine referred me to this general practitioner, she told me that this doctor is good and meticulous, perhaps she can give you a solution. With loads of skepticism and a jaded mind, I went to the doctor (x 6).

A charming individual, she was sympathetic to my story of pain and despair. She was abit surprised that the opening from the surgery hasn’t recovered since March/ April. (I went to see her sometime in July) She examined me, dressed my wound and referred me to her university friend. She said he might be able to help. So I went to the doctor (x 7).

Yesterday was the first time I met Dr Wong. He is a petite man, with coconutty hair, strawberry-shaped face, small eyes with a pair of specs resting on his rather sharp nose. Chinese, soft-spoken and eager to be heard. He told me that my infection is actually more serious than my doctor#2 thought it was. The tiny little opening will not suffice to effectively drain the collection of fluid and remove the source. So he suggested 2 ways.

No.1: Take large doses of antibiotics to control the infection. But the source will still be there.
No.2: Cut me.

I chose to be butchered. And so he did. I needed in total 4 injections of anesthesia and also a pill of pain killer an hour prior to the surgery. 2 of the injections were given before the surgery. I think coz Dr Wong is a guy, or his university friend told him that I am a rugby player, he thought my threshold for pain should be high. Actually, i have to admit that rugby players generally are quite tolerant to pain, including me. But I don’t think that includes being cut when the anesthesia hasn’t set in. It hurts.. really hurts.. I was shocked by the pain, but didn’t dare to move fearing that I might interfere with the procedure. I was tearing, and breathing very heavily, I was  traumatised. I was shaking and tearing on the operation table. The doctor had to give me 2 more jabs as he moved on. The cut was substantial in depth and in length. Massive amount of blood. And Dr Wong didn’t sew me up. He said that leaving the wound open is a better way for it to dry up and to clear the complications within it. Before he let me out of the room, he asked if I needed pain-killers and was reluctant to prescribe when I asked for it. (He really thinks very highly of me)

I went home and pretended that everything is normal, I didn’t tell mom about it. Don’t know why, just thought it is unnecessary. Maybe coz I wanted to show that big girls don’t cry and that I can handle it and keep everything in place. So I went to bed.

If you think the surgery is bad, the cleaning is worst. I thought I was going to die in the bathroom. As I was trying to remove the gauze and bandages, the gauze got stuck onto my flesh. $%##@^#@  It just has to do that to me. So I tried to drip some water to wet the gauze hoping that it will release its grip. BUT NO! So fine, i tore it off my flesh. Excruciating pain.. I felt faint, and my hands and face were pale. I didn’t know what happened, but my limbs went numb, I had to sit myself down. Slowly, i picked up the hose. Bit by bit, I let the water inch nearer to my wound, until i feel the sting. I felt so helpless, so weak. I bear with the pain and slowly wipe myself clean. Applied antiseptic and popped my antibiotics.

I survived day 1.

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