The Little Red Box

Was packing my room.. haven been really packing my stuffs since.. i graduate?
Haha.. everything comes to a standstill after graduation. As i was cleaning up, the little red box at the corner of the cabinet caught my attention. The familiar red box that i used to open and put the letters, receipts, movie tickets, gummy bear wrappers and loads of memories in..

I was a little apprehensive about opening it, it’s fear.. Fear of being reminded of the past. I thought about it a little and decided i should tackle it head on..
Indeed, I found things that I have long forgotten over the years.. the movie tickets to Charlotte’s web.. the scribbles that we had during your Singapore film lecture, and our after-school library study sessions..

Looking at that photo, my favourite photo, the one that i piggyback you.. made me sad.. I’m sad that i cannot have that back.. I am truly happy with you. And I know u love me.. you do.. perhaps you did..

I thought that it will be better for you without me.. And i really think that you deserve someone better.. better than me.. someone who can give the appreciation and the love that you deserve.. because of how much you gave and you are willing to give.. That’s why i made that decision.

I don’t think you understand.. I cannot make you understand.. I feel guilty having you love me so much but i cannot reciprocate your love. Jimmy say.. maybe you don’t need me to reciprocate your love, maybe you didn’t mind.. I know.. I know you won’t mind.. But i feel guilty..

Look at you now.. so happy.. so confident and full of drive.. I am right.. you are better off without me.. I am really happy for you.. and i’m grateful to whoever is watching over you..

Henry, i hope you’ll forgive me.. and be my friend..

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