Random ~

I wana hold you till I die..

Till we both break down and cry..

I wana hold you till the fear in me..

subsides..

My Story

It’s been so long since the last post.. haven had the mood to blog..
Haha.. coz i’m drowning in this period of slack days.. I know it won’t last.. So i’m savouring every moment till it finally has to end..

My days are more or less the same.. I either go for trainings.. or stay at home.. and maybe hang out a lil with friends.. aahhh…. ~~ this is life.. ~~

Ok.. this post would be about my favourite book at this moment.. My Story by Dave Pelzer.. I know i know.. this book is published eons ago.. but slow me.. just got hold of it recently..

My Story is a combination of 3 of his books – A Child Called “It”, The Lost Boy and A Man Named Dave .. (all about different stages of his life)
Pelzer is very thoughtful, in the Author’s Note, he wrote:

“This book, the first part of the trilogy, depicts language that was developed from a child’s viewpoint. The tone and vocabulary reflect the age and wisdom of the child at that particular time. “

I find myself being able to relate to his experiences through the most natural and unintrusive way.

I can say.. I am addicted to this book.. I couldn’t bring myself to put it down.. I love the way he describes those incidents and his take to each.. Looking at his inner thoughts or his defense mechanisms when he was a child, reminded me how similar i was to him.. Or perhaps those are the thoughts that we all shared when we were kids.. Reading his story surprisingly made me understand myself better.. yea.. so if possible i really wana thank him..

Also, I am so thankful that he is alive.. really..

I couldn’t understand why would anyone put a child through wat Pelzer had gone through.. Children deserve to be happy.. but lil Pelzer went through hell.. That i think.. is not the most tormenting part..
The worse part is.. he has to try to understand why..
How would a child, four years of age know the answers..?
And I guess alot of his emotional outbreaks along the way were because he tried too hard to understand something that is beyond his comprehension.

Pelzer kept searching for love, he yearned for love from his mom – the person whom he loved yet  hurt him most..
It is such a sacred duty to be a mom.. Sadly many women doesn’t know.. Mothers, especially single mothers, they meant the world to their kids..
Literally THE WORLD.. she is the only kin to the kid, also the privileged one to have all the love from him. A child’s love is pure and unconditional just like God’s. It is a gift from the child, i hope more parents could treasure this priceless gift.. Stop child abuse..

New Zealand Navy

Today.. NUS contact played against the New Zealand’s Navy women.. My god.. hahah.. they are all almost the same size as our biggest forward… haha..

We were seriously dwarfed by them. But we did enjoy the game… Especially for our 1st scrum, we managed to hold them.. i was happily surprised.. haha.. (I played the second row btw.. ;p)

And I brought a man down.. hahah when she was quite near the try area.. (smug) but not exactly a good tackle coz i was holding onto her jersey instead of going for the legs.. I hope i can do better.. tackle better that is..

And yes XY, we will eat more potato, build some bulk and break some legs as we sat on them.. haha.. *wink*

In the nite, I hear ‘em talk, the coldest story ever told..

In the nite, I hear ‘em talk, the coldest story ever told..

I always thought continuing is tough.. Now i learnt that giving up is tougher..
How.. i don’t know how..
All my energy is being used to ease my heartaches..
That there is none left to think..
Maybe i shouldn’t think.. maybe there’s nothing to think about..
Maybe coz i thought too much.. cared too much..
Give me an Adamantium bullet.

UPdate

Haven been updating.. have been quite busy this sem.. I picked up contact.. (contact rugby) So schedule have been quite packed coz am training for both touch and contact..

Some update about Contact

NUS sent a team for the 1st IVP match.. And we won.. I was really surprised.. Coz we’re really the underdogs.. We only have like ard 4 trainings.. for the 1st 2, only about 8 of us turned up.. And mind you we’re playing a 7’s game. (which mean 7 players on the pitch at each time) Yea, we will have to play with only one sub if this continues.. But surprisingly we are able to recruit talents from other sports during the last second training..  Our team consisted of ppl from v diverse sports background..

From Netball:
Amanda & Long Xin

From Handball:
Kai Hui, Aileen, Crystalbell (chao da), Cheryl (har gao), Amelia (siew mai) [Siew mai and har gao are also IVP of NUS basketball]

From Soccer:
Angel, Sherlyn, Xie Ying (XY)

From Touch:
Maeyan, Jas, Siok

It’s really cha pa lang.. But on the 16th of March 2009, we all stand together and played rugby.. the feeling is really indescribable. Especially the tackle of XY. XY is around 1.5m, weighing definitely less than 48kg. And she took down a player that is almost 2 and a half times her size. She might be small but she’ll always be there when you ask for her.. That’s the spirit of in fact the whole team. We tackled together and if someone runs through, we know that our trusted rover (chao da) will take her down.

We won all the way.  Even when we were trailing by 2 points (RP game), no one wanted to give up. And we were awarded with a touch down at the very last second of the game..  The touch down by Siew Mai was spectacular.. Everyone thought we were gona lose… but the mighty handballer saved the day…

I was really glad that I still got to represent my beloved NUS for contact in my final last sem. It was late, but better than never. And i’m very very honoured to be in the pioneer IVP team of NUS contact history.. It’s a pity that I cant train with you guys anymore.. But I know you guys will maintain the title..

The chapter has just begun.. All the way champs.. ~

I couldn’t sleep…

This entry is posted at 5.25am..
I couldn’t slp.. hall is quiet.. but i just cannot slp..
arrrggghhh.. i have a presentation at 9am..
but i cannot slp !!!

i googled for solutions..
and this post is an evidence that they din help..

I cannot slp !!!  help…   >=.(

Too Empty Lah…

 I just moved into Eusoff..
I felt that my room is huge..
Maybe bcoz it is too empty..
I think there’s sufficient space for a bunny to run about..
But I can’t get one.. coz i gotta be responsible..

I still couldn’t decide what to do to my walls..
They are in need of some colours..
Dun really have any ideas what to do with them..
I think by the time I thought of something, the sem is already over..

OH YA.. I haven seen Scruffy around.. (Scruffy is the Eusoff cat)
Maybe I can make a bed for it..
Then my room won’t be so empty..

IVP 08/09

This year.. is my best IVP.. and i thank all my team-mates.. my coach (Karen) and my opponents.. for all the memories..

Our IVP trainings started a few days right after our last paper.. (NUS finished exams later than other universities so can’t afford to waste any time)

We had training 3 times a week.. on the nights of Tuesdays and Thursdays and the mornings of Fridays (thank you Hwa Chong touch, for letting us train with you guys) The team bonded throughout these trainings.. we shared the fun and the scoldings during trainings.. we share the shag-ness from suicides and iron abs.. we share the cuts and bruises from dives, we endured the sun, the rain and our shitty pitch with lots of potholes and we encouraged each other for our victories and defeat.. These are the days that we eat, slp, and breathe rugby.. And i thank you gals for giving me these memories for my last school holidays..

NUS Games
NUS vs SIM : Won
NUS vs NP : Won
NUS vs TP : Won (btw TP was the silver medalist for last IVP)
NUS vs SP : Won
Semi-finals: NUS vs RP : We lost by 1 try

We had hopes and they were so clear and near that it almost killed us when we lost our match against RP. But come to think of it, i’m sure if we had the same fixtures as them, they won’t be anywhere near our ass.. but that shouldn’t be our excuse. We should have been stronger to play fresh legs even after 3 days straight of games.. I very much want to prove that we can.. if i can do it again i would make it right..

So.. juniors, fight hard next season.. i’ll be watching.. and cheering for you all.. and when they say “Go, NTU, GO..”  i’ll ask them to go home.. Promise !!
=D

The Team

The Jerseys

The Medal

Oh well…

One day, as i was walking down the road..
I saw a well.. it stood silently in the middle of the road..
It’s shiny surface glitter under the sun. She is beautiful..
So i peered over its edge to admire the well..
I saw my reflection, and i waved and said hi..
I begin to visit the well everyday.. spending more time with the well each day..

Then came a day, when i wonder, what is at the bottom of the well?
So i tried looking.. i couldn’t see it..
I tried looking in the day, all i see was my reflection..
I tried looking in the night, and all i see was darkness..

The more i try, the more i got dishearted..
I gave up..
Perhaps i can never see it..
Perhaps i’m not meant to see it..

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE..

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